


Finding Portable Cliffs

by evocates



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Dialogue-Only, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-11
Updated: 2013-06-11
Packaged: 2017-12-14 16:08:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/838788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evocates/pseuds/evocates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sean’s flight was delayed and Orlando is complaining.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Finding Portable Cliffs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [afra_schatz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/afra_schatz/gifts).



> For afra_schatz's prompt: [“How many times? If you promise something, you gotta follow through, you arse.”](http://evocates.livejournal.com/209157.html?thread=3116293#t3116293)

I'm never trusting you again.

What? It's not me fault!

It's totally your fault.

I'm really glad you think so highly of me, Lan. Of course I can control London's weather. I asked for a storm so the plane is stuck, of course I did.

You promised! When you promise something, you gotta follow through, you arse.

 _Your_ arse is not important enough to swim through the Atlantic for.

Aww, you'll do that for me?

I just said I won't.

You're too sweet, Sean! You'll swim the Atlantic for me! Should I go find a cliff or a lighthouse and wave a handkerchief so you can find your way?

You're mad. Completely out of your tree.

Maybe I should find a tree instead. Do you think American coasts have trees?

They have coconut ones. 

I'll climb one of those if you'd swim for me.

I hope that if you do, you'll fall on your arse and break it.

Stop being mean to my arse. It's your arse too.

We're not sharing arses, Lan.

See, you're destroying the romance again. I was trying to make this phone call _romantic_ and you're spoiling everything.

Sharing arses isn't hygenic. It's crazy. Like you.

You don't seem to complain when you're using that arse for your own nefarious purposes.

For your information, I only use your arse when you beg for it. When you mewl like a kitten for me cock, in fact. And speaking of me cock, it'll freeze if I swim across the Atlantic. You sure you want that?

Nah, your hot-blooded desire for me will make sure that your cock remains intact.

Only me cock?

Well, that's the most important part of you, isn't it?

And you say _I'm_ not romantic.

There's plenty of romance in the appreciation of a good cock, you plebe.

Please tell me you're not having this conversation in public.

I'm having it in the middle of a crowded airport, seated next to two little old ladies who are now looking at me like I killed that poodle they have. It'll be a mercy to kill that poodle. It's wearing _ribbons_.

Why do poodles wear ribbons in your imagination?

I'm insulted. You don't believe me. I'm really in an airport, you know.

Only the very young or very stupid will believe you. I'm neither.

I don't know, there was that time...

Oh look, me plane's here.

No it's not.

Yes it is really here.

No it's not. You're just stopping me so I don't regale your embarrassing stories to the little old ladies and her poodle.

Lan, do you want me in LA, or do you want to continue to feed your imagination?

I can do both. I'm a good multitasker.

Multitask with your hand inside your pants for the next few hours, aye?

You say the sweetest things. Now get your arse on the plane so I can ogle it without looking at tabloids.

I thought we're sharing your arse?

We can share two arses between us, Sean, don't be so closed-minded.

One day I will teach you the difference between open-mindedness and insanity. One day.

Six of one, half a dozen of another. Methinks the lady protest too much.

Hey, Lan?

Yeah?

Wave a handkerchief for me when I land, alright?

I'll even bring a portable cliff.

_End_


End file.
